The Games People Play
by Zentrodie
Summary: The game is done, now what effect did it have
1. collection

Standard Disclaimer!!!

Wow…I didn't think I'd actually try writing an original fic again after my last fiasco!

Times have changed and I am going to give it yet another try, but this time no drama just humor.  

Bear in mind that this fic will have NOTHING to do with anything of importance…no angels, no death (well maybe a wee bit), and deals with a show I don't own anything of…still urks me.  We can't I own some of this show? 

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THE GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

The rain poured down upon Shinji in vales while he kept his silent vigil.  The rain didn't bother him too much this day as he had promised himself that he wouldn't allow anything to dissuade him from the importance of today.

'How long have I been standing here, why do I stay, why didn't I read the damn weather reports?' were the thoughts crossing his mind.

Several early morning commuters slowed down to stare at the young boy that, dispute the torrential downpour stood stoically outside an electronics shop.  Most trying to figure out why anybody would do such a thing.  The rest just wanted a good laugh at somebody else's expense.

After about twenty minutes waiting and a few bouts of sneezing, Shinji finally lifted his gaze from the sidewalk towards the door that he was standing in front of.

The young owner flipped the sign from 'closed' to 'open' and opened the lock.  Shinji wasted no time in getting into the shop.  " What were you doing outside my shop so early?" questioned the owner.

"I…I…I'm out of sdat tapes." The waterlogged pilot commented.

The owner retorted, "You do this every week Shinji, why don't you download music like everybody else on the planet?"

"What do you mean download it?"

While attempting to hold back her laughter, "You have a computer don't you?" 

After a moments thought, 'I have Misato-san's old PC I just never hooked it up.'  He responded now giddy owner, " I have one."

Sighing in relief " Thought you were going to say you didn't…and if you did I'd have to question your sanity lil' boy.  Well 'normal' people don't pay for music anymore they download it from other people."

"Isn't that like stealing?" was his worried reply.

"Never mind Shinji, make your selections and bring them to the counter," the owner said and thinking to herself 'What is this kids problem, all he does is worry, kid needs to get laid.'

Shinji picks out a few tapes from his usual categories and heads to the counter to pay.

"Classical and Jpop?  This stuff will rot your brain or make you all depressed.  Why don't you ever pick anything else?" she commented while ringing his purchase.

"I…just like to listen to it I guess, sorry."

'I bet he apologizes for the toilet paper roll being out…maybe I can give him a lil present' after bagging his tapes. "You said you had a computer, Ne Shinji?"

Taking the bag from her hand, "Yeah I do, but I don't want to steal music."

Sighing and tossing a duel CD case, " It's a new game that just came in today, you might like it, being a pilot and all." 

Shinji gazed at the cover of the CD and smiled brightly " I can really have this? Honto ne?"

"Yes you can, nobody else would want it.  Now get out before the Saturday rush comes in," she said while shooing him out.

Stilling looking at the game in his hands, Shinji skipped out of the store to find the sun shining down on the streets as if to symbolize the joy he now felt.

"Today's not going to be as bad as I thought it would be," he hummed to himself while the increasing number of passing cars showered him with the rain water that pooled along the road.

While he trekked back to his apartment Shinji never noticed the never-ending showers of road run off, the bicyclist that ran into him, the two girls that tried to talk to him, or his wallet falling out of his pocket.  No his mind was completely focused on the item in his hands, 'I didn't even have to pay for it! Wow I wish I knew they were making it.'

Just outside the door to his apartment a feeling of dread smacked him upside the face.  "Asuka…" with that one word Shinji's mood crashed, 'what would she do to me if she found out about this?" he questioned as he fingered the game in his still wet hands.

Inside said apartment, the first signs of life begin crossing two women's faces.  Both rose and lugged their still tired bodies out of their respected rooms.

"Morning Asuka." Misato mumbled out while images of Yebisu danced in her head.

"Guten…morgen," was the redhead's response as she made her way to the bathroom.

Weather Misato actually heard her over the continual chant for beer going on in her head is debatable.  She resigned herself to the fact that Asuka would always take the bathroom first, and arguing with her about it was as smart as trying to ask the Angels to visit the America's instead if Japan.

Shinji slowly began to make his sneak entrance, hiding the game inside the bag of tapes. 'They should still be asleep, Misato-san never wakes before noon unless we have tests, and Asuka…Well I don't know about her.'

'Beer…beer…beer' was all that Major Katsuragi heard until she sat down, leaned back, and popped the top and "YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!"

In the shower, 'Kami-sama she needs therapy, that aught to wake sleeping-baka up.  He better make something good for breakfast,' Asuka then began thinking of what to do on this lovely Saturday, mostly she thought of ways to antagonize Shinji but lets give her some privacy, Ok?

With the alarm sounded, Shinji was needless to say, but I say anyway for some reason, terrified and made a beeline for his room, but this is Shinji so…

"Shinji-kun, is that you?" Misato called out.

'Shimata!' he cringed " Hai Misato-san, what is it?

"Breakfast."

"It's done, thanks Mis…" but he was cut off.

"No, I want my breakfast so get cooking.

" I just need to drop something off in my room." He squeaked while heading towards his holy ground.

"You just came from your room, or did you sneak out early again this morning, or is it sneaking in early.  Late night visit with a girl maybe?" She asked coyly. 

Resigned to his fate he entered the kitchen bag in hand.  " I wanted some new SDAT tapes, so I went to my favorite store."

"This early and why are you wet?" the astonished Major asked while hammering back a second can.

"Couldn't sleep, and I'm wet because the damn weather man if full of it!" he shouted while putting the bag down and grabbing his cooking utensils.

Now normal people usually can hold back curiosity, or at least wait a few moments before their nosey nature takes over them, but Misato isn't normal.  The moment the young Ikari turned his back she dove for his bag.

"Lets see what you got good, shall we?" she chimed while her rummaging began.

The skillet fell, the food fell, and Pen-Pen was thrilled to be fed so soon; Shinji turned pale as he heard her. " Misato-san!"

"Boring, boring, boring…wait what's this? " she lifted a certain duel CD jewel case from his bag.  "Care to explain this?"

"The store owner gave it to me…said it was a gift and I'd like it because I was a pilot." He then began trying to liberate his newly purchased possessions from his guardian.

"My lil Shin-chan is becoming a man. Just make sure to sleep at night now that you have this," she flipped the cd over and looked at the requirements. " Ought oh."

'I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead' was the internal mantra while he asked, " What's wrong?"

"You cook, I'll explain." She then waited for him to break out new supplies and begin her breakfast. " If you planned on using that old PC I gave you, it won't work."

"WHAT!?!?!"

"Would you two shut up out there! People are trying to bathe in here!" shouted a very annoyed voice coming from the direction of the restroom.

"It's simply to out of date, sorry Shinji-kun.  I guess you could ask Ritsuko for an old PC of hers." She said still repressing the urge to giggle madly at the lack of composure and totally red face of her charge.

After several minutes of silence, unless you count the sound of sizzling food, " I can?"

"Shinji, she makes new computers daily, I'm sure she can let you have one.  So what made you buy this huh?" she asked nudging his sides as he set her plate down.

"It was given to me, um…when can we ask her?"

"After my shower I'll call her, you can take the train to the base and get one." She said between bites, 'I knew it all along!'

He set Asuka's plate down and gathered his items, " You won't tell her will you?"

"Two weeks." She said with a wicked smile on her face.

"What?" was the obvious reply.

"Two weeks of doing my chores will buy my silence," again spoken between bites.

Wiping Misato's egg off his face he nodded and ran to his room to hide his new acquisitions. 

Asuka made her way to the kitchen, "Shinji eat already?"

Finishing her meal, " Yeah, why were you in the bath so long?" Misato smiled.

"I think you had one Yebisu to many, keep your perverted thoughts to yourself."

Conversation finished, and what a thrilling conversation it was too, Asuka shoveled her food down, stood, spoke " Well I'm off, Hikari and I are going mall hopping," and left.

Misato was left shocked, 'Who do they expect to clean this mess up!'

Lets jump ahead about thirty minutes.  Misato showered, Shinji listened to his new tapes, and Asuka ran to Hikari's, after a stop at a certain electronics store, and all was merry.  Not really several countries were without food and people were just in a pissy mood, but they don't factor into this story so who cares about them.

Misato made the call to one Ritsuko Akagi and asked about the deal.  They settled that if Shinji signed a release form, with his undying loyalty as collateral, he could have one of her early laptop creations.  Shinji rushed to Nerv to get it.

'I'm getting a laptop this is so nice of Akagi-san!' Shinji thought as he made his progress through the maze like corridors of the Geofront until he reached his destination and knocked.

Hearing scuffling and what sounded like clothing being hastily put on, "Hello, Ritsuko-san it's me, Shinji." 

Ritsuko answered the door with ruffled hair and raspy breath, "So soon, didn't expect you till later." She looked back into her room.

"If this is a bad time I could come back later," he asked with a hint of depression in his voice.

Ritsuko shut the door and returned about five seconds later tossing him his new computer; " You'll have to register yourself as the user. I have to worn you though, this was my first attempt at an AI like my mothers' and the brain pattern was…chosen based on availability.  Now if you'll excuse me," that said she shut the door and locked it.

'Those weren't my fathers glasses in her pocket were they?' Shinji shrugged off that question as he headed back to the train station to go home.

"Lets get this registration bit done now." He said to himself, and received a few odd looks in the process.  He booted up the computer and entered all the information asked.

The computer booted up completely, all the while Shinji was contemplating just whom exactly Ritsuko used as a base brain length for his computer.  'I don't need anything this fancy but it was free so I won't complain.'

The Ritsuko Akagi AI was online, with the new feature of voice recognition and feedback.  It truly was an AI as it spoke, "Oh Shinji-kun, you know exactly the right buttons to push."

"Misato-san, where are you?" he asked nearly dropping the PC off his lap.

"In your hands silly, I'm Minato," his laptop chirped.

'She used Misato's brain for her AI!' he thought as he quickly powered down his possession. "This is going to take some getting used to."  

The train arrived and Shinji boarded, laptop in hand.

In another section of the city.  

"What are we doing here Asuka?" Hikari whined as Asuka deviated from the pre-set plans.

"That baka Shinji left early this morning, woke me up, he always comes here when he does."

"And you know this because?" Hikari asked with a look of bewilderment etched on her features.

"I…followed him here once or twice," Asuka let out almost above a whisper.

"You stalked him, I knew you liked him!" the class-rep said while prancing around the sidewalk causing some people to throw change at her.

"I wasn't stalking, I was worried he might do something stupid." She replied to her overly happy friend, 'like going to visit Wondergirl.'

"Wow, look at that crowd, we'll never get it." 

Asuka not one to waste time grabbed the nearest kid and asked as nicely as she could, " WHAT THE HELL IS THIS LINE FOR!"

The child wet himself, started crying, and ran away.

Hikari took the next case and asked the next girl in line, " Why is everybody standing here?"

After witnessing what insubordination resulted in the girl answered, "_Bishonen Yatta_  just released their new album," she gushed while blushing, " I want one."

"Hear that Asuka? Asuka" Hikari looked for her friend only to find her still chasing the boy she questioned. "Never mind."

Scratching her head, 'Now why would Shinji-kun want a boy-band cd?'

In yet another section of the city, damn big cities.

Ayanami Rei woke, showered, ate, and um…well sat back down and read a book.

It was just another typical day for the blue haired child.

-End of chapter-

What book you may ask?

Was it "PC's for Dummies?"

Why did she read it? 

What game did Shinji get?

What the hell was Ritsuko thinking of making an AI Misato?

Will Asuka kill the kid that peed his pants?

Will I write another chapter?

Will I bring in Touji and Kensuke?

What was Ritsuko doing?

Will I shut up?

All this and more IF I write another chapter

Now where did I leave that…oh yeah what will happen when the AI is plugged into the

Internet.  Ask Lain…no that's the wired. 

(end of mst)

wait this wasn't a mst

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Author notes

I got the idea for this fic while looking at a picture in a book of mine.

Shinji's playing a pc game while people look at him.

While that isn't that great an idea, I thought I should try writing original fics at least one more time.  I have ideas and plans for further chapters but I would like some feedback on this story.

See if I've improved my original work.

Review and comment please

Zentrodie(zentrodie@secondimpact.com)  www.geocities.com/zentrodie.geo


	2. set-up

Standard Disclaimer.

Bitch, bitch, bitch, 

            Whine, whine, whine,

            That's the way we cry about somebody else's work!

(If you've seen "The Wizard of Oz" you know the song parody :))

I always expected to get flames on this work, and I have.  This time though the flame(s) are actually very pathetic attempts at best.  I stand by my pre-readers declarations that the grammar is set.  I will not stop writing this time! As for the humor content, if you're reading this you must have found something funny; the attempt this time isn't a bundle of jokes and funny situations, but a more subtle humor.  

Enough ranting on my part, gomen.  I still have yet to steal the rights to Eva (and I doubt I will) so don't sue me Gianax, please?

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The Games People Play

     Chapter 2- Set-up

Shinji took his seat on the train and opened up his laptop again.  'I wonder if Misato-san knows what Akagi-san did with her likeness.'  After a few moments, the PC re-booted again and Shinji found himself actually staring into Misato's…or rather Minato's face.

"Why did you shut me off Shin-chan?" the virtual idol asked with a hint of annoyance.

"You startled me…I never expected you to be so…" he trailed off while looking at the screen.

"Beautiful, charming, irresistible?" Minato asked while creating a mirror to see herself with.

"Alive," he replied to the no-longer paying attention AI interface.  Several fellow travelers began staring at the freak boy that is actually talking to his computer, a fewer number began crowding around him.

"WHOW! That thing has a real AI unit in it!" on man exclaimed.

"Take a look at that avatar it has…its HOT!" another more desperate man moaned.

'Oh no, I don't need more attention,' Shinji thought as the group of onlookers began to grow and stare at the virtual Misato on his screen. "Minato I'm going to power you down, ok?"

Using her optic lens to scope out the situation, "Oh you jealous of all the attention I'm getting, and I was about to change my skin too," she cooed.

'She's to much like the real thing for my taste,' his hand pushing the power switch.

"100,000yen for the laptop!" was the opening bid.

"150,000yen!"

"It's not for sale, sorry" he said while cringing at the push of male would be buyers.

The fact he didn't want to sell the laptop was lost on the crowd, (isn't it always?) and the bid continued to rise until his stop.  He got off to the cries of about 1,000,000,yen (about $10,000).  'Misato-san would kill me if she learned I sold her to a group of guys, who knows what they'd…do…with it.'

Shinji began the short walk back to his apartment.

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Meanwhile.

Hikari finally caught up to Asuka.  Asuka, who finally caught the wet-boy, stood over his cowering form gloating. "Finally got my answer."

"Asuka," Hikari said between her panting, " I…could have…told you that too…if you had waited."

"Sorry, but I wasn't going to let him escape, it was a matter of pride."

'Everything is to you, isn't it,' flashed through Hikari's mind at her friends boast. "Now that we know what he got; what does it mean?"

"I don't know but I intend to find out.  What if he's…you know into that type of thing?" Asuka asked her still wheezing friend.

"Not that there is anything wrong with that, if he is."

"You wouldn't be able to date if that's what you're asking."

"Me date him! That's a joke right?" Asuka gushed while her face changed to match her hair.

"Where would he be now?  We could just ask him."

"That baka's probably back at the apartment now." She replied while she had already started to head back home.

"Why don't we…" Hikari was cut short as she noticed Asuka had, well Asuka tripped over herself in her hurried state. 'Yeah you don't want to date him.'

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At said apartment.  "Misato-san I'm home.  Hello?" getting no reply Shinji simple headed to the kitchen.

Misato was sprawled out on the table with a large and empty sake still firmly in her hand.

'It's a typical weekend.  There goes asking her about Minato." He eased Misato into a more…well less compromising position on the table and booted up Minato again.

"I'm getting upset with you young man!" the very pissed off and very loud voice of Minato screeched. "Why do you keep shutting me off?!"

"Shssh! Misato-san is sleeping," he begged.

"I will, if you hook me up to your phone line," the virtual interface smirked.

'Now I'm being manipulated by my own computer…maybe I should grow a spine,' he berated himself while plugging the phone line into the modem jack. He dismissed the rather pleasure filled sigh Minato let out when he did plug her in, " Why do you want the phone line?"

Still a bit scrambled from the 'plug-in' Minato spoke in hushed tones "Need…to register on-line, Akagi protocol, you are quite a man Shinji-kun."

'The virtual Misato is just as perverted as the real one, that's one good copy.'  He replied to the blushing AI, "Didn't I do the set-up already?"

"You don't understand computers at all, do you?  I have to transmit that info to Ritsuko."

Several moments pass and the data transmission bar appeared and disappeared but the dial up connection remained.  Noticing this the boy quipped, "Something wrong?"

His answer was…"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The Yebisu website!!" Minato bellowed as she jacked into the Yebisu data stream.

"She's…getting drunk of digital beer…how will this help me?"

As if the break of copyright wasn't bad enough, the Yebisu chug holler woke the major.  "Who's the dead man that woke me from my dream! And who do I get to sue for copyright infringement." 

"M-M-Misato-san! I can explain…the…the computer Ritsuko-san gave me ha..had your…" he stammered as the ever approaching Major let out a low growl.

"Let me see that thing!" she replied as she all but tossed Shinji out of her path. She then heard yet another of her patented screams coming from laptop. 'What did that psycho-hose-beast do?'

Seeing her 'mother' figure sobered Minato up a tad, "Hello Major Katsuragi," she said to buy time to disconnect herself from the Yebisu data stream.

"I see," was all Misato said as she ran from the room.

"This isn't going to be good," Shinji spoke after seeing the enraged look on his guardians face.

"Well shall we get started on what you have planned for me Shinji-sama?" Minato asked oblivious to the fact that she…or rather it was the cause of the Major's rage.

"Yeah…sure," that being said, he picked up Minato and started for his room and the game that was beginning to be too much hassle.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Misato emerge from her room gun in hand. "THAT BITCH, SHE SAID IT WAS A JOKE.  I WILL SO KILL HER!"  She popped a fresh clip into her sidearm and left the bewildered Shinji in her wake.

"Should have expected that," both witnesses said in retaliation to the now dust trail that once was Misato.

After the initial shock wore off Shinji remembered what he had hidden in his room and he smiled, 'I'm home alone.' With that thought he fled to his room, pulled out the CD's and set the first in the tray.

"Playing games are we," Minato spoke for the first time since the Major's exit.

"Yeah, you can't tell anybody," he commanded while he navigated the set-up screen and initiated installation.

Now Minato is a computer so 'she' does know what is going on inside her, for the most point, so after the install screen booted up she couldn't remain quiet.  "Isn't that cute of you Shin-chan, but don't let this become a habit.  Not healthy for young boys like you to…play such games."

" It's not like 'that,' really it isn't," he said distantly as his mind was focused on his task until…

"ERROR…ERROR, failure to install" popped up on the screen.

"Minato, stop playing around!" Shinji said with irritation clearly etched on his face.

Minato's face appeared on the screen blushing, "It's…not my fault I don't know what's wrong."

"How is that possible, you're the computers AI!?!"

"About that…you see I don't really know much about computers."

"Ritsuko chose a very bad model."

"I'll try again ok?" a few minutes later the blue screen of death appeared.

'Great, I know more about computers than my AI support,' he shut down the frazzled AI.  He then started to think of somebody that 'could' help him; anybody, then a bird smacked his window signifying his mental breakthrough.  "Kensuke."

'How could I be so dense?!' he stopped and decided not to go down that avenue of thought.  "Now go get Kensuke to help me." With plan in mind Shinji wrote a short note about where he was going and headed off to the Aida residence.

In typical fashion, five minutes after the third child left the apartment the second child and friend arrived.  "Shinji, get out here and explain yourself!"

"Don't you think you're taking this a bit to far?" Hikari squeaked.

"No I need to know what that boy's up to!" came the German's reply.  Believing her cause just, that being domination of the third child's attention, Asuka set into search and destroy mode. After checking his room, and remodeling it during the search, she checked Misato's room.  

All Hikari heard was a loud THUMP and a string of German swears from her vantage point in the kitchen.  'Whose fault will it be this time?'

"DAMN MISATO'S EMPTY COLLECTION!"

The class-rep nearly nodded at the accusation and spotted the hastily written note on the table, which she promptly read:

{Misato-san

            Went to see Kensuke. Having trouble with you-know-what.  Be back as soon as it's taken care of.

Shinji

p.s. I'll bring some take out home for supper.}

"Asuka, Shinji's not here.  He went to Kensuke's." Hikari informed the now emerging redhead.

"What else does it say, a reason why?" Asuka asked while nursing her bruised behind.

"Something about you-know-what and take out for supper, think he'll bring back enough for me?"

'You've become such a moocher lately,' scowled the 2nd but she replied, "he always does, and I bet it's more than just that _Bishonen Yatta_ cd."

"You think?"

"Maybe, not that there is anything wrong with that, you know where Kensuke lives?" Asuka's goal set.

"Yes, but can't we go shopping instead?  I don't really want to chase Shinji-kun all over the city."

"Fine, tell me where he lives and you can stay here or whatever you want, I want answers!" her fist raised in a battle pose, 'and save him from changing his sexual preference, not that anything is wrong with those who do.'

Hikari drew a small map and told her friend how to reach the military otaku's home and like a bolt of red lighting she was off.  She rat at speeds that would have made the Flash green with envy.

------------

At the Geofront security sensors were blaring and nameless techies were in a panic.  The security system was loudly declaring that an intruder had entered the compound and was incapacitating any guard that got in its way.  Lieutenant Maya Ibuki was at the control panel issuing the orders.

The shy woman having a hard time with her new job, "Section 2 advance to corridor T-3…no S-2 and await engagement."

Makoto wanting to return of silence, and his manga reading, that Maya was interrupting asked, "Maya, shouldn't you tell Akagi to escape?" His hope was that would shut her up but…

"Why, she's with Ayanami in …her..SEMPAI!!"

But it was to late the blip that indicated the intruder had already bypassed.

'Ritsuko, death, kill, beer, dismemberment, Yebisu,' all floated inside the now temporarily insane Major's mind as she tried to open the door to the mad scientists lab.  She was about to shoot the lock off when she heard a very soft almost completely monotone voice, and guess whose voice that was.

"Doctor, that will be painful." Voice one said.

To which the doctor replied, "Not like you haven't done this type of thing before."

"That is irrelevant, it will still hurt.  It is bare skin."

"Be thankful we don't have an audience today." The firmer voice said.

"Will you take that out of me now?"

'Ritsuko is assaulting Ayanami?  Kami-Sama she's lost her mind!' the statement triggering the more…ah-em…hentai regions of Misato's brain.  A kick to the door and Misato burst in with sidearm level. " Stop right…now…Rits…"

The scene was not what Misato expected.  Instead of a nude Ayanami she found a clothed one, the doctor didn't have some torture device; she had a needle.  But did that calm her down?  If you think so what are you doing reading this.  After her initial shock wore off she remembered why she was here.

"Major Katsuragi, why have you broken the door and intruded upon my physical examination?"  Rei asked in that monotone voice we all know so well.

"I…need to talk to our good friend Ritsuko here so could you leave?" the venom rising in her throat.

"Misato, put the gun down," over her cell phone " Stand down security alert."

Rei sensing her job was done here gathered…no wait she never has anything with her…herself and left as quietly as she could, that being under .5 decibels.

"Now why are you here and so…vocal?" Ritsuko asked while sitting down to examine the new test data she just collected, 'this will help phase 2 so well!'

"You put MY mind into one of your damn computers!"

"I told you I was going to, and it's not like I have a lot of choices here."

"Give me one reason I shouldn't shoot you right here for what you did!  What if some pervert gets a hold of it"

"One, if you kill me you'll be sent to a maximum security prison and from what I hear they like 'fresh meat.'  Secondly, I only had three possible brain wave patterns to choose from yours, the commanders, and Ayanami's." she said rather matter-o-factly.

"Why not use one of the other two!"

"I wanted to make a GOOD AI, if I used the commanders it would do whatever it wanted despite what you told it to do, and Ayanami…it wouldn't question the owner at all, just hai, hai, hai all the time.  You are at least in charge of NERV tactical and should be of some, if only minor, help."

The time bomb that was Misato was now defused.  The simple and very minor compliment worked. "You think I'm better than the commander?"

Smiling to herself, and at her friends naiveté "Sure Misato, since you're here I want to show you some pictures and ask your opinion."  The major sat down and was shown Ritsuko's secret project and helped out with what she could.

"We should get Shinji to help with this, I bet he'd love it."

"You think so?" Ritsuko asked dubiously.

"Trust me, if you saw the game he brought home today you'd understand," she smiled her 'I'm going to tease Shinji into the ground' smile and continued working.

------------

"Remember you have to make me a copy of that AI unit Shinji, you promised!" Kensuke all but begged.

"If I can I will, thanks for helping me set the game up too," Shinji sang out with joy 'It works it works!'

"You have odd taste in games.  Want one of mine?" he said offering out another cd-rom.

"What is it?"

"You'll like it," he said while tossing Shinji the game.

"Viper collection*, some sort of action game?" the gullible pilot asked.  (see notes)

"Something like that, but I need to go Shinji.  I've started a guerilla warfare club and we have a meeting in the woods outside the city."

'Explains the camouflage he's wearing,' sweat dropping " you still do that stuff huh?"

Putting on his 'war paint' and pulling out his new paint gun, "I will not lose, I will train my troops!"

"Yeah…you do that" Shinji spoke while inching himself away from the freak in the camo that was hunched over looking at the people on the street.

"They're all against me Shinji, you see it don't you! That's why they don't make me a pilot!"

'No, it's because you're losing your mind.'  Closing his laptop, "Well better go train your men; before they attack you, bye."

Shinji took off like a bat out of hell, and the reason is two-fold.  Reason one Kensuke really freaked him out…I mean wouldn't you be if somebody just started aiming a paint gun at everybody and talking like Fox Mulder.  The second reason…he could play…and play he would,  'Should I try that Viper game first?'

After getting the food and returning home, Shinji found his home vacant yet again.  'I'll put their food in the fridge…now to go play.'  With a smile that would make anybody suspicious, a good thing for the vacant home, he retired to his room and thanks to Asuka's demand, locked his door.

------------

Back at the Aida residence.

"What do you mean he went out into the woods with a bunch of guys?" Asuka asked with a tinge of wonder in her voice.

Mr. Aida, not having dealt with Asuka before, answered, "I told you all I know, so stop bothering me, it's been 20 minutes."

"I want more answers!  Where in the woods, who was with him, was Shinji over?"

"Damn it girl, yes yes that boy Shinji was here right before my son left, will you take the knife away from my cats neck now?"

Asuka released her hold of the Aida pet cat, "Thank you."

The thankful man watched as the red haired girl left his home, ' I feel sorry for that boy she's looking for…his girlfriend is very scary.'

-----------

End chapter 2

------------

Time for questions

Why did Mr. Aida think Asuka was Shinji's girlfriend?

What will happen when Asuka finds Kensuke? Shinji?

What game is he playing?

What will happen when he plays the new game?

What IS Ritsuko's problem?

What is she doing now?

Why is Misato so eager to help her now?

Will I ever really have Rei do something?

Will I write another chapter?

Will I get flamed again…wait that one is obvious:

And finally why is Hikari so OCC in this fic?

Those questions and more will be answered IF I write another chapter 

See you next time same Eva Time Same Eva Channel!

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Author notes

First off Viper is the company name of a hentai game company (I think) so the game Kensuke gave to Shinji is really naughty.

For those who don't know Bishonen Yatta loosely translates to "beautiful boy hurray" 

The Misato AI, Its basically a living Misato on the pc, and well would you want Misato doing trouble shooting on your pc?

I'm not trying to bash Asuka or Rei either.  I'm trying to have Asuka acting protective of Shinji, as she kinda does I the show. And Rei…well I'm keeping her in character.

Idea's and comments are welcome.

Sorry the grammar is poor and for the few spelling mistakes. It's just I've been over taxing my pre-readers with multiple mst's to check and now I'm springing this on them, so please don't Ream on me for those to harshly.

Ja-mata

Zentrodie (zentrodie@secondimpact.com


	3. Play

Standard Disclaimer

Well here I am again, writing chapter 3 of 4 of games.  I still haven't stolen any property rights to Evangelion, Gainax still has them.

I know my grammar and spelling still need work, but my prereaders are getting better all the time as well :) so don't be to cruel. 

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The Games People Play

Chapter 3- Play

"Ritsuko, I know what you're doing…but why all the costumes?" Misato asked while pawing through an endless supply of women's clothing.

"Research, oh call Maya in here.  Have a favor to ask of her," Ritsuko said as she continued to hammer the keys of her keyboard.

Misato paged for Lt. Ibuki over the intercom before asking, " What exactly is the purpose of your 'experiments' and 'projects?"

"Fun mostly, and could help finance Nerv a bit more." She said as she called up a few more image files for Misato to look at.

Looking over Akagi's shoulder Misato finally had a revelation, " You made that game Shinji brought home today!"

"He's got a copy already?  Good, I wanted him to beta test it anyway," she said as she let out a sigh of relief.

"You did, why him?"

Closing out the image viewer before Maya showed up, "Figured he could use the stimulation…and could you think of a better subject?" 

"Guess you have a point on that one." Misato's further comments cut short as the young black haired tech rapped on the door.

"Senpai, you called for me?" Maya asked while peeking her head through the door.

Ritsuko demanded while waving her in, "Maya come in, I have some assignments for you."

Maya shyly entered the office taking notice of the odd look on both Misato and Ritsuko's faces, "What…did you need me to do?"

Grinning like Asuka does when an opportunity to prove her self arises, Ritsuko spoke, "First we need to do a little voice actress work and second put these sensors into the 3rd child's plug suit."

To say Maya was stunned would have been an understatement; she stared blankly at the dynamic duo for about five minutes. "Why?"

Sensing the tech's reluctance Ritsuko switched to plan B.  She walked behind the still confused woman and put her hands on her shoulders, "Maya, you want to help me don't you?"

Maya nodded her head…a bit to eagerly for Misato's taste.

"So just take these sensors and put them in his suit, please Maya…it would make me 'very' happy," Ritsuko added while squeezing Maya's shoulders ever so slightly.

With sensors in hand, Maya turned to the door, "I'll do it, but why don't you do it?"

Misato taking the initiative, "We have to finish work here first, you understand."

'No I don't, but if it scores some points with Akagi-sempai maybe I can ask for a week off!' Maya reasoned and fled to the pilots changing area to insert the sensors.

Once out of earshot, "Why did you have her do it?"

'Need Shinji's measurements,' she though.  Ritsuko's smirk reappearing, "She looks close enough to a boy to get into the locker room unsuspected."

"And what about the shoulder grab?" Misato countered.

"It worked, didn't it?"

"You taking evil lessons from the Commander or something?"

To which the fake blond only laughed.

-----------------------

Asuka wasn't having a good time.  After learning of Shinji's visit with Kensuke and the discovery of the trip to the woods, she had a long trek in front of her.

'What are they doing out in the woods alone like this?'

'How will I kill him if he's doing something…different?'

She stopped in her tracks after that thought, "Not that there is anything wrong with that."

She then began her search again noticing the sun beginning to set, 'I've lost the whole day over this!'

"FREEZE INTRUDER!" a male voice shouted from behind. To emphasize his point he placed a gun barrel to the back of her head.

A multitude of thoughts raced through her head, anger, hate, fear, panic and she summed them up with one word, "Shit."

The mysterious gun toting man lead the upset 2nd child to an unknown fate.

'It's all Shinji's fault! If he didn't have me worried I'd have seen it coming!'

------------------------

Touji wasn't used to phone calls, Touji also wasn't used to talking to members of the opposite sex, even though he claimed otherwise, and Touji was a wreck when it came to talking to Hikari.  So when she called him he was totally off his game.

"Wa…what you need class-rep?" he eloquently asked over the phone.

"Are we in school?" Hikari asked with sharpness in her voice.

"Well no…"

"So call me Hikari.  I have to act so damn proper in school; when I'm out I want to be treated normally," her voice rising all the time.

Completely shocked by the change in personality, "Damn Hikari calm down; now what did you need?" 

Hikari thanked Kami-sama that Touji couldn't see the massive blush on her face, which her outburst caused.  "I have a question about…Shinji-kun."

'Shinji! I thought he liked Ayanami or the devil…he's after MY girl?' despite the feeling of betrayal, "What did you need…to know?"

"Is…is he…you know…different, not that anything is wrong with that?" she gushed into the phone.

Now Touji isn't the smartest man but…but…never mind, well he didn't catch that hint, "Is he what?"

"You know…playing on the wrong side?" her blush increasing to blush-factor-5.

'She must mean about the baseball team were making for phys Ed,' the jock reasoned.  "Oh that, yeah he is, I wanted him on my team but Kensuke had to get him first…Hikari…Hikari you there?"

'He…Touji wanted…all three of them?!' the phone falling from her hand.  Hikari mindlessly put the phone back on the receiver.  "I have to talk to Shinji-kun…Touji is mine, he can't have him…even though nothing is wrong with it."  Hikari gathered her self up, and ran into the now darkening night.

------------------------

"Leader, I caught a spy!" the boy announced as he reached camp.

The leader approached the boy and declared, " I told you they were after us, we must prepare for the worst.  To the interrogation hut!"

Asuka immediately recognized the voice, "Kensuke you let me go right now, and where is Shinji!"

Three paint ball guns being pointed at her face followed her outburst.

"You now this spy?" boy B inquired.

Kensuke deflated and responded, "Let her go…she's not a spy."  

Her hands unbound Asuka grabbed the boy that lead her and flipped him to the ground she hollered in satisfaction, " Now were is Shinji?"

"How the hell should I know, he's not in the club."

Not in the mood to really listen, "Then why did you dad say he was with you!" Each word being followed by a step closer to the camouflaged boy.

A look at the still dazed boy on the ground caused fear to creep into him.  The look in her eyes told him to answer and answer fast, "He had computer trouble, I helped him."

The words sunk into her head like a lance of Longinus through an AT Field, "You got to be kidding me, Baka's got a computer now and needed help…that's it you two aren't gay lovers…not that anything is wrong with that." 

"Gay, far from it, not that anything is wrong with that," Kensuke added still while backing away.

Cracking her knuckles, "Good…good." What followed was Asuka letting off steam and aggression on the Tokyo-3 Guerilla warfare club.  The club members learning new meanings of the word pain as they tried…all be it pointlessly…to stop her.

----------------------

Shinji's eyes were glued to his monitor and his breathing coming out in gasps, he was in the zone.  "The movies or the theme park…"

"I'd say the theme park, best fits the mood," the virtual Idol Minato offered.

"I guess…" before the mouse was clicked Shinji felt a disturbance in the force…

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.

"Shinji-kun open the door I know your home!!"

Looking at Minato's face on his screen, "Safety measure three please."  Minato saved the games progress, encrypted the hard drive, and password locked all operating functions.  

'Can never be to careful in this house,' were his thoughts as he opened the front door and stared into the eyes of one Hikari Hokari. 

"A..Asuka's not her Hikari. I haven't seen her all day." Shinji stammered as he saw the malevolence in the girl's eyes.

"He's mine Shinji, you can't have him!" each word spoken with such pent up feeling that even Shinji understood what she meant.

Hoping to diffuse Hikari's odd demands, "I don't…want him?"

Hikari began to lose confidence in her accusation, "You don't, but Touji said he wanted you on his team…that Kensuke got you first!"

Shinji joining Hikari in the wonderful world of confusion, "Baseball, this is about baseball?"

"No, it's about you dating my boyfriend!  What about Asuka, why don't you act normal and date her! Not that anything is wrong with you…"

"Oh Kami-sama no! You think I'm…Hikari come in we need to talk."  Shinji lead the fuming but confused Hokari girl into the kitchen and made her some tea.

The next half hour was spent with Shinji clearing up her confusion about the CD, though he didn't mention what he really got, and reassuring her that he had no plans to 'steal' Touji from her.  Hikari calmed down a great extent, which got Shinji to thinking, 'why don't I try some of the stuff I learned from that game?'

"Want to watch some TV since you're here?" he asked with an air of confidence that Hikari thought the boy lacked completely.

Blushing softly, "S…sure, it's not that late yet."

He led the girl to the couch and sat by her.  The TV. was on but neither were watching it, both of them were talking to each other, honestly just talking.

An hour of talk later

"I better be going Shinji, my father will be upset if I'm much later," she said with a smile.

The air of confidence still present, "That's ok, come over again some time, we don't get 

to talk enough."

Hikari excused herself and went home with a new picture of Shinji in her head, 'Asuka you lucky bitch!'

'That stuff really works! I can't wait till school on Monday!' Shinji thought as he returned to the sanctity of his room.

Minato noticed and released the safety protocol.  "Nice talk?"

"Yeah, mostly thanks to you and this game!" he added with a slight skip in his step as he moved to his chair.

"I'm pleased to be of service, Shinji-sama.  You really did need the help." The AI stated as the save state was recalled and Shinji began his excursion into game land again.

------------------------

In her apartment Ayanami Rei opened her cup of instant ramen and began to eat.

The sounds of construction suddenly stopped.  Rei looked around the room in confusion for a few moments.  Then ever so slowly she pushed the play button on the hidden CD player and the 'sounds of construction' CD began to play again.

"That is satisfactory."

-----------------------

Midnight…a sleeping city.  A city rudely awoken as a screaming Red head made her way back home.  Three pickpockets, a mime, and a really odd looking man had the audacity to approach are fair damsel as she walked.  The bodies have still yet to be found.

"When I see him…I'll give him a piece of my mind!" she screeched to nobody in particular but images of giving him a piece of her fist and foot were more likely.

She entered the still apartment and proceeded to the kitchen to wolf down something, anything.  Her day of stalking…searching left little time for food.  After eating both hers and Misato's share of supper and drinking all the remaining tea she noticed the light on the answering machine was flashing.

Hoping it was a call from Nerv saying she could have her own place she hit the button, she was greeted by Misato's cheerful voice, 

"Not coming home tonight, busy busy.  Asuka don't cause property damage, Shinji don't strain your eyesight with that game you bought.  Have fun kids."

"Game…pc…eyesight…' Asuka was now doing mental math and the sum was… "HENTAI!"

To be fair though, with Asuka, Shinji + 'almost anything' = hentai.  

Asuka ran to his door so fast, one could have sworn they saw time bend.  She yanked on the handle and promptly lost balance and pitched over.  "What is this door doing locked!"

Not getting a response he put her ear to the door.

She picked up a female voice asking, "How about this dress?" 

"It's a bit…reveling isn't it?" a voice she assumed was Shinji responded.

"That's why we use it!"

"I guess…you'd know best."

"How about I try it on now" followed by a bout of giggles.

'He brought a girl into his room!  And and…she's dressing in front of him!' Asuka felt something in her eye…something wet…something that shouldn't be there.  "Damn dust," she said while wiping the tear from her eye and walking to her room…'damn baka.'

In Baka's…Shinji's room.

"I'm going to turn in for tonight Minato, thanks again."

"Anything for my registered Master, he he he, just promise not to have any…odd dreams ok?" Minato chided.

"Your worse than a real person sometimes." he said with a smile as he climbed into bed, 'This will help me so much on Monday, and I still have time to finish it tomorrow!'

Sleep came to him easily that night, while on the other side of the hall Asuka sat thinking, 'I'll make him talk to me tomorrow…I mean is he…not that anything is wrong with it…or is he a pervert…or…why do I care?'

End chapter

Time for the last bout of questions!

Why does Asuka care?

What did Ritsuko mean?

Why the sensors?

What the hell will Misato and Ritsuko unleash?

What is Rei's purpose in this fic?

Will Touji kill Shinji?

Is Shinji a player now?

Is Hikari interested in Shinji?

What is the game?

Is Minato going to short circuit again?

WILL I CALM DOWN!!!??

All this and more in the exciting conclusion coming soon to a fanfiction page near you!

----------------------------

Well, same errors as always grammar and spelling but not as bad

I do have a game in mind, some of you may know of it, then again maybe not

Hope some of the scenes didn't feel rushed, not my intent

I think I've strayed a bit from the comedy but its still there.

I am not Asuka bashing with her attitude.

I am not Rei bashing with her doing nothing

I am not…no wait I am writing this :)

This is a comedy fic so don't look for depth…and with me even my drama doesn't have depth :)

Comments, requests, idea's

Zentrodie(zentrodie@secondimpact.com)


	4. Review

Standard Disclaimer

I, Zentrodie, of sound mind and body here by decree that I don't own anything of Evangelion…but that would be a lie, as I do own the groundworks artbook collection. I don't own any RIGHTS to it though.

Here it is, the conclusion to my second actual fanfic.  For those of you who read this far…it wasn't really far to read though, have my gratitude.  I know my attempt at a humor fic fell short of the humor I create with my mst's but I think this helped me get back some of my creativity.  

Now for my request.  I was asked if I would mst my own work, the answer is no I won't.  I want one of you readers to mst it for me :) call it turn about fair play.  An email to me stating your intention is all I require so…this isn't the end…it isn't even the beginning…but I could be the beginning of the end.

Bit of warning though…this chapter isn't as funny as the past 3.

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The Games People Play

Chapter Four- Review

Morning, a time of figurative rebirth, a time to great the new day, for some a pleasant time and for others…well it isn't pretty.  Shinji slept like a baby and was gently woken by the Minato at the time he asked her to raise him.  Asuka…well she wasn't so lucky.

"Can't sleep…hussy hasn't left…can't sleep…have to kill baka…" she droned on after slamming her umpteenth cup of coffee.  Her mantra of death and dismemberment was shattered by the sound of the door closing.  She jumped to her feet and ran full force to catch said hussy on her escape.

Misato was another unfortunate person, a night sleeping on a Nerv sofa had did little to brighten her mood and the red blur that crashed into her didn't help either.  "ASUKA! What the hell do you think your doing this early!"?

"Misato?" the red bullet asked.

Trying to understand her ward she asked, "What did you expect, a call girl?"

"No, Shinji's late night roomy…thought it was her leaving," she spoke still unsure as to who she would need to kill.

'Shinji had a girl over last night…and I missed it!?,' standing up and helping the exhausted girl up and off her, "Tell me what happened."

Asuka sat down the now somewhat pleased Major and told her of what horrid sounds she heard during the previous night at his door.  'A little exaggeration is helpful,' she reasoned.

Her exaggeration had a quick response as Misato quickly and fluidly went to Shinji's room, knocked…and by knock it is implied that she kicked the door in, and walked in.  Shinji to his defense had on his boxers and was in mid pull on his jeans.

Turning full read due to his state of undress calmly asked her to, "SHUT THE DOOR!"

"Where is she Shinji, and I will not leave until you produce the woman that slept in this room!"

"Woman?" was his oh so humble response.

"Asuka told me everything, a girl was modeling cloths for you in her!  I thought I could trust you Shinji-kun!"  Misato screeched as her anger reached new heights.

"Calm down screeching weasel!" Minato chimed.

Directing her assault towards the digital diva, "Silence bits for brains!"

" I am based off your mind so any mental problems is YOUR fault, and Shinji was talking to ME last night.  Have the whole thing on video feed." Minato stated while replaying a time-lapse account of the previous night.

"Oh dear Kami…Shinji-kun…I…" she then realized he had yet to put his pants on and something was…apparent.

"Wow…for a fourteen year old your packing!" she gasped.

"GETTHEHELLOUTBEFOREISICKMINATOONYOU!" Shinji stammered as her caught Misato's lingering gaze.

Quick to appease her master, "Will do Shin-sama," and with that Minato caused a minor electrical surge and prodded the Major out of his room.  He wasted no time to finish his task.

'I think I ruined more of his self-esteem…great,' then it struck her…well he struck her, "What is it Pen-Pen!"  The bird waved a flipper at the sleeping 2nd on the floor of the living room.  "She'll get her punishment.  ASUKA WAKE UP!" she bellowed right into her wards ear.

After prying herself off the ceiling and readjusting her cloths, "WHAT?"

"You need to go buy us breakfast, now," she handed the growingly upset girl a wad of cash and matched her glare.

Not to be outdone, "Why don't you make the pervert do it?"

"Well probably because, HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Misato countered again with yet another yell.  'I need something to drink, been yelling to much today.'

------------------

At Nerv

"Sempai, is that enough now?" Maya squirmed in her seat.

Looking at her underling, "I guess so Maya, thanks a lot.  You don't know how much that means to me."

Building her courage she asked, "Enough to let me have a week off?"

"You want a week off, any plans?" Ritsuko perked up, 'She's going to ask me to do something with her…she's so kawaii!'

Squirming again under the now intense gaze of her sempai, "I…want to ask somebody out on a date…and if things go well…well you know."

"Sure Maya, you can have the week off," she said with a nudge.

"Thanks so much Sempai I won't even tell anybody about you having me say all those odd things into the mic." She bawled while giving Ritsuko a small hug.

"So…" Ritsuko prodded while holding her charge.

Turning confused and a little scared, "What?"

Adding more force to the hug, "You going to ask me?" 

Pushing herself off the doctor, "Sempai…you think…that I…" with that Maya burst into a fit of laughter.

Looking at the hysterical woman in front of her, "You mean you don't…?"

"I'm sorry Sempai I like you as a friend, but I don't swing 'that' way, not that anything is wrong with that.  Well I have to go thanks again," the still laughing woman said while leaving.

'Well fuck,' the dejected doctor thought while trying to calm down.  'Maybe a hentai game will ease my troubles.'  And with that thought the doctor began to make alterations to her program.

--------------

The rest of Sunday didn't go much better at the Katsuragi residence.  

Misato trying to make amends for the…boxer incident, Asuka attempting to find out what Shinji was doing on his computer, and Shinji playing his game into the late hours of the night.  The sleeping situation was roughly the same as well; Misato and Minato passed out in either real or digital Yebisu, Shinji out like a light (with out his SDAT mind you so it is a minor miracle), and Asuka formulating plans for the boy she claimed was either gay, not that she had anything against that, or a pervert.

-------------

Shinji woke extra early on Monday, still feeling great.  He made breakfast for his impromptu family. While he put the finishing touches on his homework, tastefully neglected while he played his game, Minato asked him, "So you actually going to do this?"

Putting his papers in his bag, "I'm going to try, I think it needs to be done." 

"What level of security should I utilize while your gone?" she asked with pride in her wave file.

"Highest…I don't want anything to ruin this," he smiled at 'her' while talking.

Virtually blushing, "Shin-sama you should smile more often, would contrast that damn gloomy & depression atmosphere you promote."

"We'll see when I come home later, Ja-mata Minato."

Before he powered her off, "Sayonara Shin-sama"

'If I see her…I'll lose my composure, and I'm going to need it for my plan…' so he stole into the early morning mist towards school while his flat mates slept.

They awoke twenty minutes later to the sight of a fresh meal and no cook.

"Good 'ol Shinji leaving food for us, Ne Asuka?" Misato chirped after her 3rd pre-morning beer.

Spitting out some sausage, "He's gone…he went to met Kensuke I bet, he lied to me!"

"Kensuke, more computer trouble?"

"It's a cover up I bet, they're dating!" Asuka announced.

Misato was so shocked by that statement she lightened her grip on her beer…that only happened one other time in her life.  "You have got to be shitting me."

"I bet it's on that computer of his…email or something, and I'll find it!"

"Yeah you could do that, or you could go to school?" the major quipped.

Looking at her watch Asuka realized the errors of spending to much time in the shower and began left for school.

'I have to clean up again!  Asuka you spend too much time in that shower…and I bet I know what you're doing.'  Misato made another mental note to clean the shower before making her way to Nerv.

--------------

Touji was like an animal stalking his pray, sleek, hidden, powerful…no wait that's wrong.  He was more like a fuming boyfriend standing in front of the school building with only one thing on his mind, 'Shinji.'  And the object of his fury was walking his way towards him.

"Going to school early are we Shinji?" Touji asked while trying to hide his intent.

Not expecting anybody so early the young Ikari stammered, "Oh...t..Touji you here early too?"

Approaching the smaller boy, "Want to see Hikari do you?"

"Hikari? No, I have plans to take care of…a mission so to speak." Taking a few steps back.

Grabbing Shinji by the collar, " You sure you don't want to 'talk' to Hikari?"

Hikari had the good graces to show up just at that moment for school, "TOUJI!"

He froze, he dropped Shinji, he paled, he spoke, "C..Class-rep?"

"How dare you do that to Shinji, that's horrible," picking up the startled pilot, "come with me Shinji and I'll help clean you up."

She led the recovering pilot classroom and left a still panicked Touji, "What happened…and how can I kill him without those guards killing me?"

----------------

"I'm fine Hikari, he was just playing around," Shinji said to the irritated Hokari girl, 'I think.'

Cleaning his face of dust, "That monster, and to think I like him too…how could he do that?"

'I can use this as a warm-up!' Shinji thought before making his action. "Have you told him you like him?" his voice full of confidence. 'Who'd have guessed she liked him?'

Blushing again due to the confident boy, "I..I…no."

Taking her hands in his he guided her to the door, "Do it now, as in right now." 

Smiling at him she opened her mouth to speak but didn't have the chance as Touji burst into the room, " YOU TWO CAN'T DO ANYTHING IN THE CLASSROOM!"

Simultaneously the two answered, "What?"

Jumping to conclusions like everybody seems to be doing, "Do it now! You two are going off to have sex now!"

The wind up…and the punch, Hikari backhanded Touji square across the jaw, "He meant for me to tell you I like you."

Holding back his laughter, "You really have bad timing Touji."

Rubbing his jaw and looking at Hikari, "Really?"

Wiping a stray tear, "Yes you big dope."

Sugar content in the room rose as the two embraced each other lightly, a teacher pinning a detention notice on Touji for public display of affection.  Touji made his apology to the Shinji just as Rei came in and took her seat.  Shinji noted this and set his plan into action.

Walking to her desk Shinji opened, still with confidence, "Morning Ayanami."

In her oh-so-expressive voice replied, "Ikari."

'This isn't going to be as easy as I thought, but I have to continue,' gathering his resolve again, "So, any plans for after school?"

"No."

His voice faltering a little bit, "Care to go to the mall with me, maybe see a movie?"

Giving him a stare that would pin birds to trees answered, "Why?"

Expecting that answer counted, "To relieve stress, a stressed mind is a clouded mind, and a clouded mind isn't productive."

Across the room.

Holding Touji's hand Hikari asked, "What is he doing?"

"Thought he had a thing for her…think he's asking her out, or something."

Hikari gave Asuka a thought, 'It's her own fault, should have talked to him instead of stalking him.'

Back to the Rei Shinji debate.

"So people go 'out' with each other to relieve stress?" Ayanami asked tilting her head.

Over joyed with his minor success, "That and to have fun.  To enjoy life."

"Fun, it isn't required."

Taking a seat by her, "But it isn't forbidden is it?"

"No."

"Consider it an experiment in human relations, you may find you like it."

'Ikari has not lied to me before, and it follows what Ritsuko-san said would happen' after a few more moments of deliberation, "Yes, I will accompany you to the Cineplex after school," Shinji smiled, "As an experiment."  He deflated a bit but smiled.

With his post school plans he stood, spoke "That's all I ask, thank you Ayanami-san," and went to his seat.

Five minutes later Asuka calmed down enough to make her presence known to the class.

"Hikari, how could you let that happen?"

Looking away from Touji, "Let what happen?"

"He talked to her! HER! How could you?" wiping something from her eye.

Touji looked Asuka in the eye and delinquently said, "If you weren't such a bitch to him maybe he'd talk to you."

Asuka was not happy, and an unhappy Asuka equals pain for those who cause said unhappiness.  After Asuka vented she ran back home, Touji limped to his seat, Shinji was still in post success mode, and Hikari…well she was torn between new boyfriend and Asuka.

-----------------------

She knew she should have gone back to school, but vengeance was on her mind.  Asuka got back to the apartment and immediately went to Shinji's room.

Staring at his laptop, "I command you to start."

Minato yawned, "You're not my registered Master so buzz off."

Opening her back, Asuka took out her secret weapon.  "Give me access to his files or I'll shove this magnet so far into your chipset you'll never remember your precious 'master!'

"You wonder why people are afraid of you," Minato spoke while the safety walls were brought down.

"What is this 'game' that he kept playing."

Trying to save her master, "Um…no game it was all a joke so he could date Kensuke."

"Bullshit, he was hitting on Wondergirl, he isn't gay…not that anything would have been wrong if he was."

Minato had lost and was about to open the game but then, "Of course…forgive me Shinji-sama. Why don't you look at the CD first?" 

Asuka picked the case Minato mentioned, "Viper collection…that hentai! This is the biggest collection of smut created," oddly enough though…a bit of drool was on her lips.

With a hint of amusement, "How do you know so much about those games Asuka?"

"I…read about them in a magazine."

Her joy now increasing, "What kind of magazine talks about hentai games?"

Fighting back the urge to scream, "Bring up his save state."

Knowing that the save game wasn't viper…Minato stalled, "Do I have to?"

Sensing the hesitation from the virtual idol, "You lied to me didn't you."

"Damn it…fine, just don't kill him please," Minato started up Shinji's game.

Asuka stared in horror, "PROJECT: RAISE AYANAMI TRAINER*!! What the living hell is that!"

Cringing Minato began shutting down, "It's all in the title."

Seeing nothing but red…her hair fell in front of her eyes, "He…he…OH KAMI-SAMA I'll skin him alive when he gets home"

----------------------

Back at school things were much more peaceful.  The students didn't learn anything as sensei driveled on about 2nd impact. Insulin was freely passed around as they watched Touji and Hikari paw each other. Lunch caused several heart attacks as a young Ikari and Ayanami were seen talking to each other.  Several went into epileptic shock, one quoted bible passages, and two others…well were pissed to have lost chances with both of them.  All in all a very odd day for many students.

------------------------

8 p.m. Katsuragi residence

Shinji stole into his apartment, 'I've been sneaking in a lot lately.'

He stopped and blushed as a memory of his 'date' flashed into his mind.  'I never thought it would go so well!  Kinda know how my dad feels though.'  His joyous mood was not to last.

"How was the date."

Shocked, "ASUKA! Where were you? You never showed up to school!"

"Like you care! Playing games with your doll?"

'Lets see how she likes what I've learned,' with the confident voice, "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

Not expecting that, like anybody was, "Well my pants are rid…HEY!" 

"So you learned about what I did today, I was tired of Ayana…I mean Rei being so introverted, so I'm trying to help," Still full of confidence.

Looking at Shinji oddly, "So…you're not dating?"

"No, we're friends now though…maybe in time we could be more…piss you off?" he approached her.

Backing to the wall, 'what happened to him…he's so..so…cool!,'  not wanting to let him see her like that, "Why would it!" of coarse her voice lacked conviction.

Putting a hand to her cheek, "If you want to try your hand…I don't have any plans tomorrow, Rei has tests."

"I…uh…" she politely responded.

"I'll take that for a maybe…oh…and if you take a shower…keep your voice down this time, I'm going to bed," he smiled and entered his room, 'damn…confidence ROCKS…you can do whatever the hell you want.'

Asuka…well Asuka ran to take a shower.

-------------------------

Nerv

Shocked at the sight before her, "What the hell are you doing now Ritsuko?"

Crying in her chair, "Maya ditched me!"

"Serves you right for playing with her."

"No she isn't 'like that', but she said nothing wrong with how I am."

When what Ritsuko said finally registered in the mind, "You mean your…your..a lesbian?" 

"More like bi…say, you doing anything tonight?"

And Misato fainted.

The End.

Epilogue 

Two weeks later

Rei entered Ritsuko's office, "Doctor Akagi?"

"What is it Ayanami?"

"I want payment for my willingness to participate in your 'game." Rei offered.

"What did you want…the game isn't finished."

Blushing softly, "I…want you to change it."

"Really how?"

Actually fumbling with words, "I would like you to change the rating."

"How so?"

"Make it adult."

Ritsuko smiled evilly to herself, "You saw the sensor readings didn't you…even I want to have one like that. Now."

"Thank you doctor, deliver it when done."

With a sigh Ritsuko looked back at the screen. "This "Shinji Trainer" should sell a lot more units…specially with his unit and permission now…he he he…it's good to play both sides.'

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So that's it! Its over.

I don't know if Asuka takes Shinji's heart in the end or if Rei does.

Shinji did mean it when he claimed to initially only want to "help her open up"

And there really is a game called 

Project: Schedule Ayanami Trainer

Gianax made its start with a game called "princess maker" and the Rei trainer is an offshoot of that game.  Not many people have it.  I saw a picture of Shinji playing it with Asuka looking at the back of the computer and thought…that make a good story.  So I wrote it.  The conclusion didn't have as much comedy as I wanted but I think it ends the story well.

Hope you liked it, and all feedback would be appreciated.

Give thanks to my prereaders

Chewy 

Golden Kitsune

You guys rock…and help keep me working :)

Till next time

Ja-mata

Zentrodie (Zentrodie@secondimpact.com)


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